Sunday, May 8, 2011


An old friend came by, he looked so much older than his age. He came and talked about the old times. The times that I once had some feelings for him. He knew that I did in a way missed him. He tried to bring back to life those uncertain times. He tried to wake the sentimental side of me. He spoke with emotion. I could sense that he was about to cry. I kept my cool. I kept quiet as he spoke. Deep in my heart I knew one truth. And that is.....

for all the years that we had been together, he never once told me that he loved me.

He had his chances. In fact, I never opened myself to anyone. He came so close to winning my heart. Now I realise my foolish heart can be so weak. He came so close but he hesitated. Was he undecided or was he scared? At that moment my eyes were closed and I was so fragile. Anyone could just wrap me around his arms and I would fall without resisting. The power of love had overcome me and my foolish heart was waiting to be taken. Somehow, he hesitated and discontinued his advances. He kept repeating apologies. I did not understand.  He made me feel that I did something wrong. Something that I ought to feel guilty about. Was I improper and was I immoral? Somehow he made me feel as though he was Adam, the innocent one. And I was Eve, the temptress. How could he think so lowly of me? 

Now meeting him again after such a long while just makes me wonder. How lucky I was that I did not belong to him. He came by today as if he was coming back to claim what was once his. He doesn't understand that people change and time can change a person a lot.

I know that in his mind. I am still the one, the naive and the simple minded girl, who could be easily won over.
I am sure he thought that I had been weeping night after night over him. And now he comes back after I had deserved such pain, to forgive me.

Well , so sorry to say, my dear friend. You are not welcomed.