HAVE NO FEAR, WE CAN'T ALWAYS BE HERE

Nobody likes to go to the hospital. I have been running around lately to and from that place daily. A person whom I love very much is lying in a hospital bed. She is getting old and her heart is weak. Though her health is deteriorating , she remains strong as ever. I can see the pain that she is suffering. It tells in her eyes. Still, she is not sheding a tear, that shows how strong she is.

Although dying is near at hand, one must remember that death is natural. It can come to anybody, anytime. So see life as a circle, old ones must die and give way so that younger ones may live. We must not be so sad. But being a visitor to the hospital makes you miserable because you can see so many sad faces around you. This is not a place to be happy. I wish I could  go somewhere else.

The reason we are sad when someone close to us dies is because we would miss that person. See it differently, isn't it great for that person to leave if living longer causes so much pain. I always dream of my father. He died quite a number of years ago. Each time he appears in my dream, he looks so happy and so full of life. His whole personality glows and he looks clean and pure. Sometimes I wonder if he has become an angel but I couldn't see any wings on him.

There is one time I dreamt I was walking down a very busy and crowded street. Something like Oxford Street in London. There were people everywhere, rushing about here and there. Suddenly I noticed  that a man walking not far in front of me was my father. He had his back facing me and I was behind him. I called out to him. He didn't turn back to look but instead walked faster away from me. I kept calling louder and louder to him, he walked faster and faster. Soon I found myself running after him. Eventually he disappeared in the crowd. I woke up in bed with my voice still calling.

In a way, dreams are quite fascinating. I enjoy dreaming. Some of my dreams do come true. Well, I guess I would write about that another time if the mood is right.