SOMETIMES IT IS TOO LATE TO MISS SOMEBODY

A few days ago, I wrote about a band 'The Careless Picnickers' that lasted for only a month. After a fighting incident, the members split. No one had any news of the singer. All I know is that the bass guitarist is now an insurance agent. The lead guitar player is a clerk with a stock broking firm. The drummer, the leader (by the way, his name is Sebastian) is working as a  graphic artist with an advertising company.

Sebastian is always a cool and nice fellow. It just shows in his face. He is so likable. He is crazy over drums. In just 5 minutes, he can name all the different drum sets that are available in the market. I tell him I hate drums. It's only noise. Sebastian tells me that drum isn't noise, drum is beat, as in heartbeat. Without it, we have no life. I kind of believe him.

Sebastian says he is barely surviving in his current job and still needs his dad  finances every month. He is willing to give up his job, if any band needs a drummer. He says that he has only one wish, to make a pilgrimage to Manchester, England one day. He says that it would be an honour to die and be buried in Manchester as all his favourite groups  ie. Joy Division, Oasis, The Smiths, James and New Order are from that place.

Sebastian teaches me a lot about music, especially his kind of music. I am so naive. I only know what's in the Top 40. I tell him that a girl would normally listen to songs by guys who are good looking. So, Enrique can sing any rubbish, a girl will still go for it. To me, rock is nothing but noise(again). Sebastian tells me it's wrong to think like that. Rock is about skills, he says. The skills of the guitarists and the skills of the drummer. Then, he hands me a CD and tells me to take home and have a listen.

It is the 'Black Album' by Metallica. I take it home and put on my earphones. Two days later, I tell Sebastian the CD is absolutely incredible! I listen again and again. I tell him I love 'Enter Sandman', 'The Unforgiven', 'Nothing Else Matters', 'Don't Thread On Me' and etc. In fact, I love every track. Sebastian then says that this 'Black Album' made Metallica lost so many of their hardcore fans. When it came out, Metallica was transformed overnight from an underground band into a commercial one. The radio started to play their songs. Many fans hated them for that and switched their loyalty over to Iron Maiden instead.

Then Sebastian says if I want to appreciate the group and their music, I would have to go backwards. I have to look for their previous albums. I did. I bought 'And Justice For All', 'Ride The Lightning' and 'Master Of Puppets' and I can tell you I love them all.

One day, on Sebastian's birthday I bought him a black tee shirt with 'Zildjian' (a brand name for drum cymbals) printed on it. He was so happy and says it is the most precious of all the presents he has ever received. After a while, we seldom see each other that often.

Sometime last year, I received a call from Sebastian's elder sister. She said something unfortunate had happened. One night, a friend was giving Sebastian a lift home on his bike. They were waiting at a traffic junction for the lights to turn green.It so happened that there was a car which  was speeding, came straight and hit the back of the bike so hard. Sebastian was thrown high up into the air. His helmet flew off. And he landed head down on the bonnet of the car. That broke his spinal cord and seriously injured his head. Sebastian's sister said that her brother is now confined to a wheelchair and suffers a lost of memory. I guess I cried and cried.

I decided to visit Sebastian. I bought him another tee shirt, also with the brand name 'Zildjian' on it, hopefully to help him to recall something. When I showed him the shirt, Sebastian looked confused and asked me 'What is the meaning of this strange word?' I couldn't control my tears. From that moment on, I knew I have lost my dear friend and tutor. All his desire to be a drummer, his wish to go to Manchester, his knowledge of Metallica and music were gone. That part of Sebastian I will always miss and cherish.

I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER ANYMORE

The Conversation 

I remember going on a date with a guy named Timothy. He is tall and good looking. Timothy has a perfect man's body. He works out at the gym daily. Walking beside him makes one feel secure. As though you are walking with Wolverine.

That night, Timothy was taking me to a slasher/horror movie. I hated horror movies. Being our first date, I had to oblige. That movie had an awful long title. If I can recall correctly, I think it was 'I will always know what you did last Summer'.

When we got to the cineplex, there was a long queue.It moved very slowly because some guys could not even say the movie title in one complete sentence. Finally, it was our turn at the ticket counter. Timothy voice was so cool. He sounded like the Prince of Wales when he said the whole 'I will always know what you............' with a strong British accent. The trouble was, the girl at the counter couldn't make out a word of what my Prince was saying. In the end, I helped out.

After getting the tickets, Timothy went to buy the usual stuff that movie goers buy 'Popcorn and Coke'. And if you were a couple and you haven't got either popcorn or coke in your hands, you would look odd.
Then we went in. After we were seated comfortably, Timothy and I started to munch our popcorn.So did the guy who was sitting next to me on my other side and so did everyone else.

The lights dimmed. Trailers and adverts were shown and 10 minutes later, the actual feature started. Timothy was so quiet throughout the last 10 minutes. I supposed he was scared of horror movies. How would anyone not be scared, if one was watching it in a THX sound surround hall?

After about 20 minutes through the movie, Timothy began the conversation.

Timothy:  'Now look carefully at the girl with the white blouse. Don't keep your eyes off her. She will be the first one to die'. (I looked. There were two girls on the screen. My eyes followed the one with the white blouse.And before you can finished saying Abacadabra. She was slashed to death by a long sharp knife. I was amazed. How did Timothy know that?)

Timothy:  'Now quick, look at the other girl. When she starts to run, the killer will jump out of that locker behind her and slash her head off. ( I looked. The girl started to run. Out of the locker, jumped the killer and the poor girl's head was slashed off. My God, Timothy could predict the future! I couldn't help it anymore and turned to Timothy and asked.)

Me:        'Timothy, can I ask you something? How did you know that.............'

Timothy: 'Sssh, quiet. Don't miss this part. Now you see the cop there. He is very suspicious looking. He will make everyone think that he is the actual killer. I tell you, he is not. (I looked at the cop. Yes, he did have a face that even his own mother would not believe he was not the killer. Again, Timothy was right, the cop was not the killer. Then came the part where the music was getting a bit scary. The screen showed an old woman walking alone down a long dark lane. The old woman kept turning her head back to see if someone was following her. The scary music went louder and louder. At that moment, I noticed the guy who was next to me on my other side, put a big handful of popcorn into his mouth. But his mouth never moved! He was scared to death. As the old woman started to walk faster, Timothy interrupted.......)

Timothy:  'Don't worry, nothing will happen here. The music is just played to scare you. The old woman will not die.' (On hearing that, the guy's mouth started to move to munch his handful of popcorn down. I looked.
Yes, nothing happened to the old woman.)

So, Timothy went on and on telling me of what would happen next, right till the very end of the movie..
I truly wonder if any girl, other than myself, has been out with someone like Timothy?

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. THEY NEED TO BE REARRANGED.

When I say I am beautiful. Many gals commented 'so boastful, I hate this blog'. Come on, this is the internet.Whether you like it or hate it, doesn't alter anything. There are millions of people out there. If all these millions of people have to please you, you must be very big headed. Guys, on the other hand, are more easy going. But guys are like little boys, they always must see it first before they believe it. So, now they are saying that this girl must be an ugly one as she dare not post a photo of herself.

Hello, if I post a picture of me and you find that I am not up to your expectation, surely you would say 'Urgh, what an ugly bitch! I hate this blog, she brags and she's a f***ing liar!' Hey, before you accuse me, take a look at yourself. Everyone seems to forget that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and not in the mirror on your dressing table! Every boy will tell the one that he loves that she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Every mother will tell her daughter that she is a princess. Every father, Eminem included,will tell his daughter that she is the most precious. Just listen to his 'Mockingbird' although the song sucks, its meaning makes you wanna reach for your hanky.

Come to think of it, why should I let you judge me. I am not running for the American Next Top Model. I just hate that show. The judges are all morons and nerds. Look for the one with the Three Stooges haircut. They should be sent to the firing squad. Most of all, I hate that bitch Tyra Banks. How she humiliates those poor contestants without mercy! She thinks she's the Queen of the Amazon. She must be sent to the lions! Girls out there, don't be so silly. No one has the right to judge you, so don't let them!

I once knew a garage band. They played very cool music, influenced by British indie groups like Portishead, Blur, Artic Monkeys, Pulp and Radiohead. After two weeks of playing, the members were still contemplating of a cool name for the band. Lots of time were wasted , lots of argument ensured that sometimes even a fist fight nearly erupted between the singer and the drummer, who was the leader of the band. And the rest of us standing there, including me, had to jump in to pull them apart.

One Sunday afternoon, we decided to go for a picnic at a park beside a crocodile farm. The farm had a big lake and the parking area was just  beside it.  On reaching there everyone was asleep as it was such a hot day except for the the drummer, who was driving. He was reversing the car into a parking lot and carelessly stepped too hard on the pedal. The car nearly went into the lake! When the others woke up, the drummer said that he had just found the perfect name for the band.

Finally, for the very first time, everybody agreed. They named themselves 'The Careless Picnickers'. What a cool name for an indie band. Sad to say that, one month later they disbanded after a big fight broke out between the singer and the rest of the band over a song. The singer insisted on singing that dumb song 'I don't wanna miss a thing' by Aerosmith and the rest of the band refused to play. So, a big fight started, everyone began throwing punches at the singer making sure that he didn't miss a thing!

AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW YOU WILL SEE YOUR SHADOW

"Hang the DJs! Because the music that they constantly play, it says nothing to me about my life.'.....taken from 'Panic' by The Smiths. This is for the DJs at Hits FM. Stop the Gotcha pranks! Spend more time educating your listeners about music instead. At least, they will appreciate the bands more and CD sales will go up and you guys will get promoted and we listeners will support you!

Example, how about telling all your listeners about Bruce Dickinson, vocalist of Iron Maiden. How many of them actually know that when the band is on a world tour, the man flying the massive passenger airline is Bruce himself. For all the ladies who wish to appreciate him, just listen to Bruce Dickinson's 'Tears of a Dragon' and you'll get what I mean. Stop playing that stupid 30H!3 'My First Kiss' hundred times a day, day in and day out! And stop repeating songs, the hits music catalogue is so wide. Don't be lazy!

You guess what will happen if I keep repeating my posts, I will soon be deserted by my loyal bloggers and end up with  Leonardo Dicapro in Shutter Island! If you wanna watch that movie, you can drop in at the last ten minutes, the whole story is there.

One day, there was a guy who was brought before a judge. He was suspected for shoplifting, a pair of Rayban sunglasses and a Quiksilver watch.

The judge asked for his name.                                    
The guy answered 'I.M.'                                                
The judge asked him again 'What is your full name?'
The guy answered ' I.M. Guilty, sir.'
Then the judge said 'Okay, Mr I.M. Guilty, you are sentenced to two months jail. Have you anything to say?'
The guy then replied 'Yes sir, but I am not guilty'

I hate names that make no sense. Examples are as follows:

The All American Rejects
What a name! No doubt the band will end tonight. The next morning you will find its members working at the Reject Shop. 'It ends tonight' would be the most appropriate song to play on the last day of the Laura Ashley's warehouse sale, Jusco grand sale and Tesco countdown sale!

Black Eyed Peas
Yacky! Does this group have any taste at all? Wouldn't 'Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce' sound yummier? Better send them to Cybertron to eat some Boom Boom Pow!

Panic! at the Disco
What a joke! These guys must be virgins on their first visit to a disco.

Sean Kingston
Better call 911, there's fire on the dance floor! Mmm, now I understand why those virgins on their first visit panicked! There's actually fire on the dance floor! Pity those clubbers who came in crocs! Who started the fire in the first place? Must be the chaps from Manchester, The Smiths! Remember 'burn down the disco, hang the blessed DJ! Because the music that they constantly play......'? Anyway, Sean Kingston comes from Kingston, Jamaica.Is it cool to have a name telling people where you're from? In the old days that was cool, like Jesus of Nazereth, Lawrence of Arabia, Don Quiote of La Mancha. Today, if you have a name like Rio Brazil or Yoko Tokyo, you will be famous! And the rest will die laughing.

One Republic
Wow, this is a great big name! It sends shivers down your spine. This name always makes me imagine a kingdom located somewhere in a remote region of the world with a population of one, the singer himself. No arguments, Apologise is an awesome song and the person who sang it has the most fantastic voice. With such a voice, he can be made King anytime in his republic, where he rules over himself!

Simple Plan
These guys are simple minded, they don't fancy doing anything big. But watch out, they may be busy devising a plan to rob their local 7-Eleven store tonight! But first they must figure out what is the total sum of angles in a right angle triangle.

Boys Like Girls
What can I say? Isn't it obvious that boys like girls, girls like Barbie, boys like Spiderman! Of course you can't say thieves like robbers or Lady Ga Ga likes Radio Ga Ga!

Green Day
It sounds like someone is trying to introduce green technology to the discos. Everyone's gonna come naked! When Green Day started, they brought the house down at Woodstock 2. Their Dookie album sold like hot cakes. Later they got tired, their fans got tired. Now they are getting more tired, their fans are getting even more tired. I think they've been around for too long and still imitating Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols on the stage. Fans got tired to see them playing like that. Worse still, '21 Guns' is like a song for the dying. The melody of the first line is exactly the same as an old song that my grandfather sang karaoke to..'If your're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair'

Paris Hilton
Great businesswoman. She kills two birds with one stone. When you come to Paris, make sure you check into the Hilton!

Lady Ga Ga
One ex-fan told me that her name would be better if it was Lady Poo Poo. If she's got a baby she can name it Baby Wee Wee.

Hoobastank
Dangerous name. If the Russian Intelligencia knows about it, they will start producing military tanks of this name for World War 3. That, my beautiful friend, would be the end of the world.

Forget About The Rest, Teenage Years Were The Best

There was once a boy I knew in my class. Nobody wanted to be near him. Everyone called him a nerd.He never spoke to anybody and always kept to himself. One day, I was chatting with my girlfriends about the upcoming Michael Jackson concert, this boy must have overheard our conversation. 

The next day at school I saw an envelope on my desk. I opened it. Inside was a note: Got 2 tickets for Michael Jackson's concert. Please be my partner. Signed: HUSH. He nicknamed himself Hush so that no one would notice. I would die to see Michael but not with him. But somehow I accepted. I turned to where he was sitting and glanced at him with a smile to indicate my acceptance of his invitation. His face turned as red as a rose!

Came that evening, Hush picked me in his father's car. I was surprised to see him. He looked so cool. His hair was neatly gelled up. He wore a white t-shirt with both sleeves rolled up exposing his firm muscles. He was wearing a pair of tight Levis' 209. For a second I thought he was Enrique Iglesias! There were some words printed on the front of his t-shirt in red. I couldn't read what they said as he was at the wheel.  My long hair was tied in a pony tail. I wore a black tanktop with the words 'I love Michael' on it and a pair of short denim skirt.

When we arrived at the stadium, Hush got out of the car.At that moment, I got to see what was printed on his t-shirt. It said 'Sex Instructor. First Lesson Free'. I almost fainted! Many thousands of fans were already at the gates. As we approached, I noticed so many people, majority girls,  fingerpointing at Hush and me. They were giggling and laughing their stupid heads off.

Finally, we found our seats.The concert kicked off with a local band playing some rock numbers that nobody bothered to listened. People were chatting away, many were drinking and laughing and some others were busy munching away either nuts or gum. After a dreadful 20 minutes of nonsense music, some chap on the stage announced 'Let's give a warm welcome to Michael Jacksonnnnnn!' That was it. That woke up the entire stadium of 7,000 fans. Everyone, including Hush beside me, started jumping up onto the seats. I thought a revolution had started! I couldn't see anything except a row of bums in front of my face. Hush was up on his seat screaming "Michael, Micheal, Moonwalk, Moonwalk!! As the drums went Thump! Thump! Thump! My heart went Thump! Thump! Thump! I was so worried that the rows and rows of seats would collapse and the stadium caved in!

In came Michael. He stood there like a stone for 5 minutes and began his first number 'Jam'. Screams and screams from the fans were deafening. Throughout the whole 2-hour concert, Hush never once turned to look at me. His eyes were glued to the stage. I couldn't even see Michael as the bunch of morons in front of me were all the time jumping and dancing on their seats. Hush didn't even know I existed. Deep down I felt so alone even though I was surrounded by thousands and thousands of people.

Hush was moving and swaying his body in the most contorted way. Like he was possessed by some kind of spirit or something.When Michael did 'Billie Jean' , all hell broke loose from Hush. He swayed uncontrollably in torment screaming and yelling out words I simply couldn't understand. They went something like Wow Wow Gothca Cow, Pow Pow Muncha Now.... Moo Moo Zimbi Zimbi Chew....Coo Coo Waki Waki Loo. I was terrified. I wanted to go home. Hush was gonna turn into a Shaman or a Witch Doctor!!

The day after that concert, Hush became his normal self again. Spoke to no one, not even me. That afternoon as he walked past me, without a word he handed me a note: 'I apologise for my behaviour last night. I couldn't help it. Michael was awesome!' I understood.

Has been sometime I haven't heard from Hush. He is an okay kind of fellow, I think I will not hate him.

YOU GOT MY NUMBER BUT DO I KNOW YOUR NAME?

I always hate disclosing names. I hate it even more if I didn't. I hate personalities. They are filthy rich, living in their palaces up in Hollywood Hills, all because of you and me.This brings to mind the ones I particularly hate.

Fergie
Fergilicious is definitely not delicious. She sounds like a desperate housewife with menopause running for the title of a teenage queen.When she raps, she sounds like a granny working in a bar somewhere in Texas.

Gwen Steffani
She has already exhausted herself trying to be Madonna and failed.There's absolutely no doubt she had better stay in No Doubt indefinitely. That, would be her sweetest escape.

Lady Ga Ga
Even worse, she is trying double hard to be Gwen and triple hard to be Madonna. Hello Grandmother, wake up! The Madonna era is over! We are living in 2010, not 1980!

Akon
This guy is unbelievable. His melodies are sweeter than honey. Always makes my hair stands on ends. He should be composing nursery rhymes and lullabies for the newly born. My holiness! Please give him wings and make him an angel in your choir.

Timberland
Sounds like the rusty nasty chainsaw used in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He should be producing sound effects for all horror movies instead.

Katy Perry
She is giving everybody a teenage nightmare. I guess she has moved to Elm Street. If you listen to California Girls and Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus back to back, I bet you can't tell which is which.

Taylor Swift
If ever you play Love Story on the piano, you will realise how horrible this song sounds. Surely she can't be classified as Country, she's so Pop, should be singing for the Mickey Mouse Fan Club.

Justin Bieber
He is so cute, he should be Timberland's teddy bear.

Lady Antebellum
The most unlikely country singer with a scientific name like Dr. Who. Her songs just remind one of Me and Bobby Mcgee, Oakee from Mustokee , The night they drove Old Dixie down and a whole lot of others way down yonder. YeeHaw!

Eminem
If I were younger, his voice would scare the hell out of me because it always reminds me of a movie I watched when I was little. I grew up watching it zillions of time. In retrospect, his voice reminded me of the ugly green faced and crooked nose Wicked Witch of the East in The Wizard of Oz. Hello Slimshady, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road!

STRONGER THAN THE REST, HOTTER THAN THE REST

I am extremely excited today. I discovered on the net uncountable ' I HATE MYSELF AND I WANNA DIE' sites. I hate people who say such things. Come on, everyone's gonna die one day. So if you are alive, better learn to appreciate it!

I hate weak people. They are so emotional and so easily hurt by others. BE STRONG, RAISE YOUR VOICE AND SHOUT IN THEIR FACES! Like you shout at the Devil! Don't give no chance for anyone to hurt you!

I have been through relationships with all sorts of people-some were weirdos, some morons and others mostly hypocrites and I can tell you I survived them all!

Talking about hypocrites, I really hate them.

The man who acts as a hero amongst friends but behaves like a mouse in front of his wife.

The man who cries 'Donate to the Poor' pockets the money himself.

The man who says 'Feed the World' gets himself fatter by the minute.

The man who scorns porn, watches porn all night while his wife and children sleep. Sleep Tight Everyone!

I hate cosmetics. I am naturally beautiful. I do not need to be a peacock. Look at Asian girls, the Thais, the Vietnamese, the Indians, the Malays and the Chinese, all inherently beautiful! The tone of their skin is so hot, their innocence so charming and their stares so enchanting. Look no further, here is paradise!

I hate models. I hate how they catwalk, everyone pretends to be macho, what a joke! For their exposure, models are all unkindly exploited. They will only get their paychecks many many months later. Some will hardly get anything should his or her agency closes down.

The more things i hate, the more i love myself

Today I am so excited and happy. The more things I hate, the more happier I am.

I hate newspapers. To me, NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. Stop wasting money buying paper to read bad news.

I hate movies. I cant understand how anyone would willingly pay money to be imprisoned for more than two hours in a tiny chair to have rubbish continually thrown at his face. Most of all, I hate Avatar. It is so cartoonish and meaningless that it should be called "The Man Who Wanted to Die as a Blue Donkey". I hate Twilight - the entire cast looks like real zombies trying so hard to act as humans. 

I hate TV. I hate Gossip Girls. Everyone is so ugly trying to be beautiful that it should be called "The Ugly Bed Hoppers". I hate American Idol. It is so embarrassing that it should be called "The American Bathroom Singers". I hate Project Runway. The old man is so old-fashioned and the designers are so dumb. And the judges so irrelevant. The program should be called "Project for Failed Designers Who Made The Audience Ran Away". 

I hate hair stylists. Look at what they did to Nicholas Cage in "The Sorcerer's Apprentice", "Kick Ass" and "Bangkok Dangerous". Good Lord, only he can appear in public like that!! Another example is Lady Gaga. The lady with the ugliest hair!!

I hate everything but myself

There's no doubt it, I am the most beautiful, adorable & desirable person alive. Wherever I go I find eyes groping at me. Girls are so jealous of me, all my friends envy me of my beauty. That's great, the more jealous they are, the more they admit that I am the prettiest.

I hate most girls because they are so big headed. I hate most men because they talk rubbish, especially on the net. I hate all bloggers because they are like skateboarders - all time wasters!

I hate all geeks cos they just glue themselves to the monitor, they are so empty headed that whatever information they get is what the computer is spoon feeding them with.

I hate rappers & rap music, they sound no better than nursery rhymes. The song - i love the way you lie- is so sadistic,  how can one actually love the way burning oneself hurt! In New York, New York, Alicia Keys is screaming like a madwoman in the chorus. All rap songs have no intellectual meaning because they are sung by not highly educated people. They always boast about simple things like their bling blings, their Gucci bags, their big cars, their clubbing & their gals. Come on, there are more to life than that!

I hate all the DJs at Hits FM. They just blah, blah rubbish & they think they are cool. Their talking is so artificial & boring, the same applies to VDJs on the Quickie show on 8TV. None of them seemed to be knowledgable about the music they play. They have no idea of the history of the groups or the meaning of their songs. I bet they can't even tell the difference between heavy metal, speed metal, thrash and death metal!  They take us listeners as fools with their prearranged Gotcha tricks. Often they make parodies of hit songs where they sing with their ugly voices, I wonder if they ever paid any copyright to the original artistes! Hits FM DJs, you hear one, you hear them all!